Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein
If you are not happy or satisfied with some aspect of your life and want it to change, you have to do something different. Change begins from within - to do something different, you have to think something different. This site will provide you with thoughts, philosophy and guidance to help you to think differently, to identify what should change and give you the inspiration to change it. You can make positive changes in your life.
Thoughts for the Week
Take a Vacation to Improve Your Career - Posting 8-3-09
A note from Courtney:
Since this is my first column, I just wanted to take a moment to introduce myself… I am a professional coach and entrepreneur who helps women find their passion and translate it into a successful job or business. I live in Santa Monica , California
TAKE A VACATION TO IMPROVE YOUR CAREER
Taking a vacation is one of the best things you can do to improve your business and career. I don’t care where you go or even if you go away at all (although of course that’s preferable); the point is to get out of your environment and your routine.
Why? Because it is absolutely necessary to unhook from your day-to-day existence to have access to the ideas, creativity and energy necessary to thrive in business. In my Balance workshops, I ask women to think about the impact that feeling “fried” has on their work. The responses range from lateness to decreased efficiency to suffering business relationships - all things that directly or indirectly affect your bottom line.
So what happens when we do take time off?
We are “unproductive”:
Many female professionals and business owners have trouble taking time off because they fear they won’t be productive. Getting off the treadmill can be even more uncomfortable than staying on it. And the guilt that often accompanies full-out relaxation combined with the pressure of expectations from those around us often makes it easier to avoid going away at all.
So here’s a hint: stop trying NOT to feel uncomfortable or guilty. By avoiding these feelings, you are letting them run you and your career. Instead, decide when and where your vacation will be, bring your feelings along for the trip and give yourself an opportunity (over and over again if necessary) to learn that you will not be a bag lady if you take time off from work. You will be more productive when you return (OK, maybe not right away) with more energy and focus.
We dread going back to work:
This is a really common one. It’s like once we get a taste of freedom, we’re in trouble. For many people, time off feels great and while the transition back to work is not always easy, soon we’re back in the swing enjoying what we do. For others, just the thought of going back to their work and life feels like a prison sentence. If you are one of these people, you have some choices: either change your experience at work or change your work. Convince your boss that you will increase revenue in your company by doing only (or more of) what you love in your job. Hire someone to take care of the stuff you hate in your business. Schedule lots of fun time outside of work. And when it’s really bad, start planning your exit strategy.
We think outside the box:
Lately, I notice that whenever I take time off to truly relax and enjoy, I get a surge of ideas and energy for my business - and lots of my clients do too. Once there’s space for more in my head (kind of like clearing the clutter), the next steps just show up. Sometimes it’s really specific (like the concept for a new workshop) and sometimes it’s general (like realizing that more collaboration is needed). But the fact is that it’s not until we step away from our work that we can gain perspective on what we want and need. Basically, vacation helps us to know more.
I’m convinced that since we realize this deep down, that’s exactly why we keep working so hard and resist time off. Intuition is both really exciting and really scary - because usually it wants us to CHANGE something. I’m actually getting to the point where I’m nervous about taking time off because I know it means I’ll be doing bigger things as a result. It’s like my fear starts screaming “Uh oh! What’s she gonna do next?!” The key is to trust and use your intuition to benefit your career.
The Message: Do NOT go back to the status quo
The way to let vacation improve your career is to listen to and act upon what shows up for you when you give yourself time off. Good or bad (which is usually just good in disguise), pay attention and do something about your intuition immediately – or you will easily slip back into the same old, same old. Sign up for that program, set up that meeting, start that new project, tell people you trust will not be naysayers that you’re ready to make a career change.
At the least, schedule your next “time off” and/or work it into your week so you’ll make room for ideas and insight into what you need to thrive in your business and your life. Which can certainly just be more time off!
And if your intuition tells you to make a move or a change – and you find yourself drawn to the idea and it feels a bit scary – you are on the right track…
Courtney Parks, MA, CPCC is a professional coach and owner of Courtney Parks Coaching, a company dedicated to helping women create passion, success and balance in their careers. To learn more about private coaching and group programs, send a message to courtney@courtneyparks.com.
Listening to your Soul - Posting 7-12-09
Listen to your inner voice, your intuition. Be quiet from time to time and let God speak to you. It is essential that you provide yourself with significant time to connect with God. During such time, you may have no conscious (any that you are aware of) contact with God. But somehow, when you empty your head and heart of thoughts of this world, God comes in and your soul expands. Both begin guiding you and you may not even be aware of it at first. But when you look back at your life and how it changed, you say WOW!
You can do this through a variety of activities including prayer, meditation, hypnosis, music, creativity, art, and/or quiet reflection. Someone asked me if I had ever tried meditation. I laughed and said, I can’t really see myself cross-legged on the floor saying “Om” (thinking about Richard Dreyfus in the Goodbye Girl) or sitting in front of a mirror saying “You’re good enough, you’re smart enough” (thinking about an old Saturday Night Live skit). The person said that I might want to try it anyway. She said that my energy was very tight and that meditation might help and she gave me a meditation tape.
Over the course of the next several months, I played that tape over and over. At first I felt silly, but as time went on, I could really tell a difference in my soul. I was calmer, more centered, more balanced, more confident. Somehow through meditation/affirmation you connect with the positive energy of the universe. It even helped when I would interview for jobs or had to speak in front of people. It helped me know, deep down, that this job or this meeting was not the deciding factor in my journey, nor in who I was, nor in my value to the universe. It was just an experience, nothing else. The key was my connection to the universe, the higher power, and nothing else matters. Everything else is just window-dressing.
Susan Richardson, in a speech at North Unity Church in Atlanta, GA in January 2005 discussed studying the mystical teachings of five major religions: Judaism, Sufism, Christianity, Buddhism, and Hinduism. She stated that the mystics were all about a direct relationship and direct experience with God – because she said – if you have direct experience with God – you do not need anything else. In my experience, this is absolutely true. The more you can have direct experience with God, the clearer you will be and clarity brings peace, direction and purpose.
I challenge you to do one or more of the following activities:
1. Complete a meditation/affirmation/hypnosis session (20-30 min) at least 10 times a week for 3 weeks. One good website for meditation/affirmation tapes is http://www.healthjourneys.com. Another good one that I have tried recently is by Wayne Dyer. He has a very short book and an accompanying CD called Getting in the Gap. I highly recommend it.
2. Begin writing three pages in a journal every day, preferably in the morning. Write in stream-of-consciousness, meaning just keep writing whatever is running through your mind without editing. If all you are thinking is that “I am not thinking anything”, then write that over and over until something else comes into your head. It should take you about 30 minutes a day.
3. Spend a few hours in nature, preferably by yourself or with someone quiet - doing nothing or meditating or journaling or thinking.
4. Try listening to soothing, introspective music periodically.
5. Do a creative activity like painting, writing a short story, or sculpting. But do not judge your work. Just experience whatever comes out.
What do you want to be when you grow up? - Posting 7-6-09
Are you running the race you want to run, being who you want to be, were meant to be? Have you fulfilled all of your passions? Are you content with where you are now? You may be able to answer yes to all of these questions and if so, terrific. However, most people do not feel fully satisfied with where they are in this life. For the most part, this is because people are not taught to life fully. They are infused with limiting beliefs and attitudes toward themselves and the universe. They have had negative experiences that keep them from believing that it is possible and even that it is their responsibility to live fully, to live out the passions that drive them.
I am a lesbian and a life coach. The powerful insight that I gained from both paths is the realization that the coming out process is the same as the coming alive process; that realizing you are gay and integrating that awareness into your life is the same process as realizing and integrating other truths. So the courage and wisdom you need to come out in one or more parts of your life is the same courage and wisdom you need to life powerfully – to be who you are – to live passionately – to have purpose and meaning – to be fully alive.
The first step to begin living powerfully is to confront the facts of your current life; to take an honest look at where you are today. A good way to do this is to create a wheel of life. To complete a wheel of life: 
Put categories around the wheel. Suggested categories are family, health, friends, sexual orientation, significant other/romance, fun, career, financial, physical environment, personal growth; but choose what fits you best.
- Rate your satisfaction level in each category on a scale from 1-10. One means you are not very satisfied with your life in that area; ten means you are very satisfied.
- Draw an arc across each pie piece that represents your level of satisfaction.
- Color in the size of each of your pie pieces.
- What immediate insights do you have as you look at your wheel?
- Are there any parts of the wheel that you are proud of? Why?
- For any areas in which you have a low satisfaction level, why do you think this is so?
- What parts of the wheel are limited by your fears? What are those fears?
- What parts of the wheel are driven by love or passion? What are those the loves or passions (these could be people, activities, values, etc.)?
- What key areas would you change if you could? Why?
- What would have to be different about you in order to change those areas?
- What would you have to do differently in order to change those areas?
- What resources would you need in order to change those areas?
- How would your life be different if you changed those areas?
Will This Be The Day? - Posting 7-6-09
- Do you think life is supposed to be hard? Why?
- Do you think life was meant to be joy-filled? Why?
- If you have certain unfilled desires, what are they? Why do you think you have them? Why won’t they go away?
- What would happen if we all lived up to our potential? Are we supposed to?
- Why are you unable to move forward and achieve what you want to?
A benevolent god created you with abilities and desires that you are expected to pursue. When you act to satisfy those desires and use those abilities, God will align his/her power with you. Pursuing those activities will not feel “hard”. It will be pleasurable because you will feel quite natural while doing them and they will satisfy the desires of your soul. Those activities will be what you, and only you, were sent here for. You will be the best at whatever those activities are, because only you will have that unique combination. If god sent two people with the exact same set of abilities and desires, it would be a redundancy of energy – and God doesn’t waste energy. If there were two people exactly like you, your existence would be duplication rather than creation. God created you as a unique human being. There is only one of you. Your existence is significant. What you do is important to the universe. You are like one number in the secret code that unlocks humanity. Your tumbler must click into place.
So how do you figure out what you are meant to do? These are the phases that you need to move through.
- Free yourself spiritually
- Begin listening to your soul
- Begin connecting to the universe
- Overcome your fears
- Know yourself well
- Begin accepting and loving yourself
- Release guilt
- Let go and let God
- Prepare to manage change
- Take the first step
- I am loved by a person with the capacity to love selflessly and be a full partner.
- I make a living from work that I love and that sustains me.
- I am helping people and changing the world.
- I have huge amounts of fun and adventure and joy and laughter.
- I have peace within.
- I know that God exists and cares about me and is guiding me.
For now, write out your answers to the questions I asked at the beginning of this column. It will help you to do this.
Will This Be The Day?
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